Charlie Clone

Welcome to the first installment of a new SWAFT.info feature: Charlie Clone's All Action Figure Revue! I'm your host, Charlie Clone, and I'll be reviewing this week's action figure!

The first toy to receive the AAFR treatment is a member of the Dino Power Ninjatron / Ravager Action / Playset team. Dino Power Ninjatron Ravager Action Playsets are produced in China and distributed by the notorious Greenbrier International Inc, of mysterious Chesapeake, Virginia. I found my particular Dino Power Ninjatron Ravager Action Playset in a local dollar store for a mere $1.00 (plus tax), and let me tell you, the Chinese slave laborers really poured their little malnourished hearts into all 3.75 inches of this plastic figure

CONCEPT: While it may seem evident to some that this toy is merely an attempt to do the action figure equivalent of plagiarizing the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, I prefer to imagine the creators of the Dino Power Ninjatron Ravager Action Playsets using a mad lib approach: (cool noun) + (cool noun) + (cool noun)tron + (nominalization of a disturbing verb) + Action + Playset. I’m not really sure why this is called a Playset, since a Playset usually implies some geographical location in plastic form. Maybe they can avoid licensing laws if they claim they only make playsets and not figures, like when Fun4All skirted around Hasbro’s transformers license when it re-released those vintage transformers by attaching a removable eye-ring to them and calling them key-chains. In this case teleology defines ontology.

Anyway, what is not to like about the premise of this toy?

Who couldn’t love robotic-cyborg ninja that have the power of dinosaurs?

Every kid loves dinosaurs and power. And the mind that thought to combine the prehistoric coolness of extinct reptiles with the ancient coolness of a ninja with the Tomorrowland coolness of Tron was sheer genius.

The only part about this toy’s concept that still mystifies me is the Ravager Action. I haven’t quite figured out what “ravager action” is supposed to entail, and, frankly, I think I’m more comfortable with having this toy on my desk without knowing it. I can only hope something was lost in translation.

Unfortunately, Dino Power Ninjatrons do not appear to value individual identity. They all come in the same generic blister pack with a generic Dino Power Ninjatron riding a ferocious looking dinosaur wearing battle armor. None of them have personal names.

This particular model appears to be based on some kind of medieval Asian monk...or perhaps a Vietnamese rice picker. His cool Raiden-esque hat and split-toed footwear give him an exotic, Eastern look, though his face mask is molded in an eerie, ghost-like grimace. No one’s going to threaten his monastery and/or rice paddy.

One conceptual flaw, however, is the pterodactyl logo emblazoned on his chest...pterodactyls were technically not dinosaurs...didn’t know that, did you?

ACCESSORIES:

Man, look at all those accessories: a katana blade, one throwing star, some kind of mace thingy, two knives, and a huge shield. This guy comes with the accessories of five G.I. Joe figures! The only real drawback here is that the knives, throwing star, and katana blade are a kind of fruity teal color. I guess if you can wield a katana blade while harnessing the power of extinct thunder lizards, nobody really calls you out on the color of your armaments.

FEATURES:

I have to stop for a moment and confess something. When I started this review, I thought it was going to be all fun and games. I mean, come on, a dollar store Power Ranger knockoff? It seemed to have lameness written all over it.

Prejudiced, I was. I admit it.

To make amends, I have to point out that this toy has some of the most thoughtful features of any dollar store toy I’ve met. First, the figure has a rubber belt / backpack that contains a cleverly designed slot for each of the weapons. It even has a spindle to hold the throwing star and working sheaths for the knives. If Star Wars figures were this thoughtfully designed, I wouldn’t have to check Rebelscum’s accessories page every time I tried to figure out which blaster went with which cantina alien.

In addition to the standard shoulder/hip/neck articulation, this little guy has swivel wrists giving him a distinct tactical advantage against most other high-priced action figures. In a similar vein, his shield has a rotating handle, allowing him to hold it at a variety of angles.

You know, I sound like I’m writing a totally sincere review right now...I’m surprised too.

While the paint job isn’t going to let this figure seamlessly blend in with your MacFarlane collection, it’s about as good as an 80s Kenner toy.

He also has a set of stilletos molded on his right leg from a separate piece of plastic (but the artistry is always in these kind of throw away details). Numerous other intimidating spikes and whatnot cover his armor.

He also features some of the most well-defined buttocks I’ve seen on an action figure outside of Ponda Baba's face (perhaps this is part of the Ravager Action).

PLAY VALUE: So long as your kid isn’t concerned about plot continuity and doesn’t know the meaning of “ravager,” this figure can offer significant support to your child’s more expensive big name franchise figures. Given its origins, it might not be the most durable figure...and it would probably release toxic fumes if your house ever caught fire, but what toy doesn’t these days? Nevertheless, Dino Power Ninjatron / Ravager Action / Playset would make a fine addition to any cross-continuum battle arena.

Until next time...

--Charlie Clone