Welcome to Charlie Clone's All Action Figure Revue at SWAFT.info!

Is there no end to Ankyo Development's scientific madness? First they constructed cyborg, motorized dinosaurs...with wheels! Now, they've genetically enhanced six prehistoric creatures with bioluminescent properties!

But to what end?

Now, I was always as big a sucker as any kid for glow in the dark toys.

There's just something...mystifying...perhaps even soothing about the eerie green glow...beckoning one in the darkness...calling one to come ever so closer...like the dim light at the end of tunnel...

Perhaps it evokes the same some primordial call that lures deep sea creatures to their potential mates, meals, or predatory deaths...it is as if looking at these toys in the dark, as I am now, draws some kind of animalistic collective unconscious to the front of my mind...........

Ahem.

I'm assuming, of course, that these are supposed to be genetically modified dinosaurs. I can't really imagine there being so much evolutionary advantage to bioluminescence that giant, land-based reptilian creatures would want to become walking neon lights. On the other hand, I guess if you are as big as a house, it's not like there is any use trying to hide...so why not shine like a walking Las Vegas casino?

Natural philosophy and marketing ploys aside, though, who ever thought glow-in-the-dark toys were really a good idea for kids? And how do they play test them? Throw a bunch of kids into a locked room and turn out all the lights? "No, Bobby, you can't come out until you've at least tried playing with the glow-in-the-dark dinosaur! I don't care what the other children are doing to you!"

It seems just a matter of time before we hear of a lawsuit where some punk kid was horribly injured chasing some other kid around a darkened room playing Glow-in-the-Dark Dinosaurs.

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There were six styles of creatures in my pack, but only five of them were dinosaurs.

Last I recall, the dimetrodon was in fact NOT a dinosaur.

Oh, no, he wasn't.

Look for Tresob Yr on Battlefront II!
So the pack should probably be called Glow In The Dark Dinosaurs and Friends.

Other than that, you've got some kind of raptor, a little T-rex, a parasaur, one triceratops-looking fellow with only two horns (the top horns are fused into one...go figure), two stegosauruses, and two sauropods.

Charlie Cat has rabies. -- Charlie Clone, Jr.

The dinosaurs have a rubbery-texture, and only the four-legged ones seem capable of standing on their own strength.

They glow well enough, although I was unable to adequately capture their luminous properties with my camera. The effect works best when you do that thing where you cup them in your hand and then hold them right up to your face...leaving you completely vulnerable to attacks from older siblings.

I suppose I would have to say that the raptor is the most striking of the bunch, with all those sharp edges, delicate limbs, and bird-like crest on the back of his head. I'd like to say that the T-rex is cool, but his brow is a little too high, which makes him look a little dopey and surprised, rather than like a vicious meat-ripping, bone-crunching machine.

--Charlie Clone