Charlie Clone's All Action Figure Revue 23: CHROMOBOT

If there is one thing that dollar store ninja usually do well, it’s coming with a heaping boatload of choking hazards. If small wasn’t dangerous enough for children, these weapons are small AND hard to see! It’s like they are daring children to misfortune.

The Stuff My Bent Sword

Although the toy comes with a generous number of accessories, some of them are more aggravating than others.

When attaching the belt, make sure to work in a well-ventilated area and do not hold your head directly above the toy.

These are some very cheap plastics, and I almost passed out twice trying to buckle the belt and holster.

I’m not even kidding.

I still have a headache.

Speaking of cheap plastics, the sheath on the TN’s back severely warps the larger of his two blades. I suppose have a sword hilt rising from behind your head is cool enough that he doesn’t really need to wield the sword anyway.

Also, it’s anyone’s guess as to why a Translucent Ninja would wear shin pads that are not translucent. Wouldn’t the feet be the last limb that a ninja would want his adversary to be able to follow? Or is the paradox designed to add an element of confusion and achieve an advantage in combat? “Wait a second, why are your shin pads...grrrk! Shuriken to the throat!”

This assumes that the Ninja can actual finish putting his accessories on. It took me so long to attach all the parts that I felt as though this was more like a Dress-Me-Up Ninja toy than a nigh-invisible martial arts master.

In my humble opinion, the most useful thing about this entire set is the translucent gun.

In the hands of another toy, it could be like some kind of psychic weapon that manifests itself in the physical appearance of a gun so that it’s wielder can shoot his chi with a little bit of flair.

Personally, I prefer shooting my chi in the double-handed “push-the-monkey” style, but shooting my chi through a psychic gun wouldn’t be a bad way to finish off my Mortal Kombat opponent.

Kids will play with ninja as they have always played with ninja, whether translucent or opaque.

As for the adult, I’d really only recommend this toy if you had a penchant for huffing foreign chemicals. After spending a half hour with this toy, you will in all likelihood see many translucent ninja...and translucent spiders...translucent stars...translucent gods...until you see into the essence of translucence itself.

QUICK REVIEW, of ninja of another hue...

Dollar stores love to ride marketing waves, and some stores manage to surf bigger franchises than others. At Dollar General, I found TMNT (that's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle) single packs. Some of these were retro-single packs that had miniature versions of the original 1980s style turtles. I already had all of those from a KBToys four pack. What I did pick up was a mini-Michelangelo based on this summer's computer animated movie. I've heard a lot of complaints about that film. I however enjoyed it...even if it stole it's plot from the first Pirates of the Carribean movie. It could have used more Mike and Don, but I guess they were trying to make the story edgier and less comic.

The main advantage these newer mini-figures is that they wield their appropriate weapons (the older minis have no weapons). The downside is that these weapons are sculpted into their hands. If you are a turtle fan, you'll definitely want to keep one white, pupil-less eye open in the toy aisle for these.

So...uh...cowabunga...or whatever.

What rhymes with orange?